Well, tennis fans. It’s a brand new season. Everyone has a fresh start. Some teams are burdened by expectation, while others are optimistically lurking in the shadows, eagerly awaiting the opportunity to prove their worth. As much fun as it is to analyze every match, dissect every lineup decision, speculate over the cause of a letdown, and make meaningless predictions, what is written on this blog does not ultimately matter in any way. Players tend to think that they control the outcome of every match they play, that if they work hard enough, they will deserve to win. We see all the hard work our respective teams put in, and we can’t help but think that they should be rewarded for their efforts.
Unfortunately, players on every team will spend the extra hour in the gym on a weekend, stay fifteen minutes after practice to fine tune their serves, and devote their last measure of emotional energy to tennis. Equivalent statements can be made about the coaches. Everyone deserves to win, but we know that everyone can’t. Inescapably, 50% of results will be wins, and 50% will be losses. We have some control over the results, but no matter what, tennis always offers equal parts gratification and disappointment. I like it that way. Tennis wouldn’t be tennis if it weren’t, but sometimes it’s a little frustrating. Sometimes, I want everyone to be happy. In that spirit, here’s what I would give to each program to make them happiest if I were omnipotent.
Emory: For one of their sophomores to have a breakout year and become a three-year star at #1 singles.
Kenyon: A healthy Razumovsky and a national championship for their seniors.
Williams: … a national championship for their seniors.
Wash U: A UAA championship, more consistent doubles, and a national singles championship for Putterman
CMS: Better health for all their players, and for Warren Wood to strike the ball well every time out.
Bowdoin: A stellar year from King, and a championship run in the NESCAC tournament.
Hopkins: Some platform shoes to help their undersized team become as formidable in doubles as they are in singles.
UC Santa Cruz: A motivated Nurenberg and an eligible Larsen.
Trinity (TX): More of the same from Skinner, and some Red Bull to help them be as passionate in singles as they are in doubles.
Pomona-Pitzer: Whatever Weichert did to beat Dorn. That. All the time. From everyone.
Cal Lu: Three DII transfers to bolster their depth and turn them into a national championship contender.
North Carolina Wesleyan: Six more international stars and a surprise win over Gustavus at National Indoors
Whitman: The return of Jeff Tolman, a top 10 recruiting class, and another year outside of the California regional.
Middlebury: For their new guys to be as good as they seem and some good old fashioned Hansen magic on the NESCAC doubles court.
Bates: Their next recruiting class to show up on campus in January to fill out their lineup.
Redlands: Heart and an invigorated coaching staff
Case Western: A win over Wash U and a Pool C spot.
Carnegie Mellon: premature maturity for their incredible freshmen, a win over Johns Hopkins, and a long-overdue return to the NCAA tournament.
Amherst: A healthy, motivated, in-form Joey Fritz
Washington and Lee: A better schedule and more joy for their players.
Mary Washington: Consistency.
Skidmore: A win in the Stag-Hen and a better draw in the NCAAs.
Swarthmore: A little less homework, better doubles play, and great years for their freshmen.
Trinity (CT): Some international players, so their tennis team can be as good as their squash team.
Gustavus Adolphus: A top 20 win, another great performance at Indoors, and a year without a mystifying loss.
Whittier: A win over one of the SCIAC’s big four in the SCIAC tournament at home, and another huge recruiting class.
Denison: A better schedule!!!!!! They just need a couple more chances to prove they’re for real.
Depauw: A miracle Pool C bid and a doubled travel budget.
Wisconsin-Whitewater: A Superbowl victory for the Packers, and another victory over Gustavus.
Kalamazoo: Better doubles. Fun fact: in matches against ranked teams + Rhodes (who was ranked at the time), Zoo went 34-38 (.472) in singles and 7-29 (.194) in doubles.
Chicago: Less homework and a work ethic to go with their talent. Better team chemistry wouldn’t hurt either.
Wesleyan, Sewanee, Tufts, Tyler, Stevens, and Haverford: National rankings to go with their excellent recruiting classes.
Vassar, Carleton, and the rest of the Northwest Conference: A return to relevancy, just for geographical parity’s sake.
Rhodes: A schedule that actually offers a chance to prove their worth scheduling.
MIT: Less homework
Christopher Newport: Some recruiting to take down NCW and return to the post-season.
Franklin and Marshall and Coe: To earn a national ranking this time around
Drew: a bid to the NCAA tournament for their #1 doubles team
Occidental: Six new tennis courts and coaching stability
Everyone else: a miraculous upset of Swarthmorian proportions.
Ojai 2014-Blog Style