With interest waning in the midst of Thanksgiving Break, four more teams have punched their tickets to the Elite Eight. Whitewater and Whitman delivered resounding beatings to their respective overmatched opponents, while the Bantams eeked out a victory in a low-scoring battle against the Poets. In the surprise of the week, the Slugs took the Stags out back and beat them to a bloody pulp. I’m not surprised by the outcome, but I am surprised by the score. One thing is certain, the Banana Slugs will be formidable going forward:
On to the Elite Eight:
8. Tufts Jumbos vs. 3. P-P Sagehens
The Jumbos are doing their best “VCU” impersonation, winning a play-in coinflip and working their way close to the final four. In the Elite Eight, they’re going up against a team coming off a victory over another more intimidating mascot. I’ve already pretty much said all I have to see about these teams, so you guys just vote on it. here is what Tufts has to offer. These are the smattering of images Pomona-Pitzer is throwing at them.
1. Kenyon Lords vs. 2. Bowdoin Polar Bears
I know that, for the most part, the paragraph of text I put under the italicized names of the two teams has no effect on your vote, but for the love of all that is good, America, please see reason:
The fact that the Lords got past the Tartans was an absolute travesty. These are the same sort of purple people that stay in power by gerrymandering voting districts and intimidating opposing voters with empty threats ala their feudal namesakes. Polar Bears are either two tons of pure awesome or 15 pounds of concentrated cuteness. These lovable, fuzzy creatures may fall, but don’t let them be beurocratized into extinction by a bunch of velvet, violet villains.
8. Wisconsin-Whitewater Warhawks vs. Trinity (CT) Bantams
Speaking of violet villains, it has become apparent that the Warhawks can generate as many votes as they need to win. If at any time the contest gets close, votes just pop up in their column until their lead is comfortable once more. Once again, they find themselves up against a superior mascot, and once again, that mascot will be vanquished.
The Bantams must not have much of a blog following, judging by their narrow victory against the overmatched Poets. I expect this one to be a blowout. In case you were wondering, the Bantam would definitely win a fight against the warhawk. Just look at it. I’m guessing it knows how to fire a crossbow.
4. Whitman Fighting Squirrels vs. 3. UCSC Banana Slugs
The Squirrels have had a nice little run, but it’s time for us to face facts: while their mascot might be unique and ironically intimidating, it is not the official mascot of the school. The Banana Slugs are more unique, more ironically intimidating, more appropriate, and more official.
The Slugs would also win a fight between the two mascots. “How?” You might ask. “The squirrel would just whip out a machete and decapitate the slimy, boneless, leaf-looking thing.” It’s actually very simple. NO KNOWN PREDATORS! The end.
Warhawks Baby
Lords win a tough competition. Bring on the Warhawks.
Fire it up!
Lords Fans are stepping up.
40 votes in 10 minutes sounds like voter fraud
To avoid any sour grapes, I’ve made it so that the polls will close in 56 minutes. I can’t arbitrarily stop time whenever I want. Judging by the fact that Bowdoin just got about 40 votes in ten minutes, three of the races are “too close to call”
9 more hours to vote!
Go Jumbos
Go ‘Bos
How do you know when the voting time is over?
Voting ends some time around midnight Eastern on Sunday.
When does the voting period end?
Willie the Warhawk came to play