Well, it finally happened. A team with a clearly inferior mascot galvanized their fan base to get their mascot through to the second round. With 160 votes, the UW-W Warhawks are going to be very formidable going into the coming rounds, and it stands to reason they will be able to get more votes later in the tournament. Williams’ 130 votes were by far the second most votes any team has gotten so far this tournament, and I don’t know whether to attribute that to a determined resistance from Williams, or the nation’s common sense lashing out against UW-W’s tyranic numerosity. Nevertheless, the Warhawks are into the second round.
Nation, if you look at your feet, you will see a gauntlet. It was just thrown by the UW-W Warhawks. Does any fan base have an answer? In other news, the Battling Bishops, Bantams, and Poets are on to round two, aswell. here is the updated bracket.
Onto the final four first-round matches.
1. Wash U Bears vs. 8. Kalamazoo Hornets
Two 8-seeds have already upset their better-tennis-playing counterparts so far this tournament, and this has the workings of another. The Wash U Bears have an excellent mascot and an excellent logo, but they might fall victim to lack of originality. The bear has to be on the list of the top 5 most commonly used mascots (right next to eagle), and that will ultimately prevent them from winning this tournament. BUT, I’m a big fan of bears. They have the dual advantage of being both incredible cute and absolutely terrifying. There’s obviously no doubt as to who would win a fight between a bear and a hornet.
If Kalamazoo is going to win this one, it will have to be on originality. Unfortunately, New Orleans kind of stole their Thunder (NBA franchise movement joke. It works if you don’t think about it too much), but their mascot is still pretty unique. Their hornet logo is pretty badass, and I’ve always been a fan of the orange-and-blank color combo. If I’m a voter, though, I’m going with the bears because I freaking hate hornets. Their not like flies that you can just shoo away. If you swat at a hornet, you have to worry about them coming after you. A bug should not be any inconvenience to me ever. Hornets suck.Go Bears.
4. Whitman Squirrels vs. 5. Redlands Bulldogs
The Whitman mascot is actually the Missionary, but they’ve been going by the squirrels for a couple years now. (I would change my mascot too if I had one that s***ty). Anyways, they definitely traded up. The squirrel is both unique (sorry Haverford) and appropriate for the PNW (and any college campus anywhere). They also drew themselves a badass logo, which I can only find as the profile picture for Coach Northam’s twitter.
In a matchup so perfect, it’s almost like it was pre-ordained, they are going up against the Redlands Bulldogs. Redlands has the advantage of being probably the only team that brings a live mascot to their matches, but that’s probably because their mascot is so freaking lame and common to begin with. To me, this is a no-contest. a) The bulldog is another one of the top 10 most common mascots out there. b) How often do dogs chase squirrels? All the time. How often do they catch them? Almost never. The Redlands Bulldog sounds like it’s going to die of a heart attack at any second, and it would NEVER catch the Whitman Squirrel. c) Have you ever seen squirrels fight? I’m going with the squirrels.
3. UCSC Banana Slugs vs. 6. Mary Washington Eagles
I’m going to start with basically the only argument you could possible make for the Mary Washington Eagles. If an eagle ever actually decided to set its sights on a banana slug, the slug would be dead before it even knew it was hurt.
Counterpoints: eagles are the #1 most cliched mascot, especially at a school named Mary Washington. An eagle would never target a banana slug, as a slug would provide little or no sustenance. The Mary Washington Eagle logo is so boring I actually fell asleep in the time it took me to copy and paste the link. The USCS BANANA SLUG IS THE BEST MASCOT EVER!!! They have brains and brawn, and there are a whole bunch of other reasons the UCSC mascot is awesome, but I’m going to save them for a second round date with the (SPOILER ALERT) Stags. I hope UMW doesn’t have a huge blog following because it would be a shame if the two best mascots went out in the first round. Go Slugs!
2. CMS Stags vs. 7. Denison Big Red
I like the idea of The Big Red being a mascot more than I like it in practice. It’s really fun to shout during tennis matches, but there’s no actual mascot there, and, as original as it is, “Go Big Red” has been stolen from Denison by a big, bully of a school in the middle of nowhere that always acts entitled every time college football season rolls around. They also didn’t help themselves by selling out their name to the highest bidder among chewing gum conglomerates.
I could be convinced of the Big Red’s goodness, but for now, the Stags are clearly superior. CMS has the rare mascot that walks the line between being both incredibly unique and very intimidating. I don’t know if this helps them or hurts them, but, like Cal Lu, they couldn’t use the same mascot for the men’s and women’s teams. I find it strange that the two mascots basically have nothing to do with each other, but other than that, I don’t care at all. As much as I would like to see it, I also don’t know what a fight between a Stag and a Big Red would look like, but let us assume a stag would win. Let’s be real: the Stags are winning this round, if only for the potential Harry Potter wand Patronus jokes in the upcoming rounds.