We’re definitely into true offseason mode now as the responses to the hot takes get thinner and thinner. Luckily resident boomer AVZ is here and he majored in lightning rounds…
AVZ TAKE/DEFENSE
I am going to go with speed round because I have multiple takes.
1) Case Western is a top 10 team and will qualify for natties.
2) Life Planning chat on whatsapp is a game changer and makes me feel useful.
3) Blog Betting group chat shows how degenerates some of us are.
4) Wesleyan will NOT make it to natties.
5) Selena Gomez being back in the game is all we need right now, but give me Demi Lovato every day of the week. No defense is needed because I only speak of truths.
RegNE/C: 1) Agree 2) I’m more often on the receiving end of AVZs advice, but I can confirm that he is useful to have around! 3) Step one is acknowledgement 4) Tough call but I think they make it 5) N/A
CHB: Wesleyan will make natties thanks to the new Pool C spots
ASWomens: I could respond to the above points but let’s not lose sight of the bigger picture here: NewCentral and Analyst are the perfect match. That being said I stan Selena Gomez.
newCentral: (1) Yes. (2) Getting to the Point in my life where I need to get in this groupchat. (3) I don’t have the money for this groupchat yet, but hopefully (2) helps on that front. (4) nah. (5) see: NewRegional for the only correct response.
NewRegional: 1) Case finna win indoors 2) N/A – I still live in a shoebox and don’t have anything planned 3) Roth IRA 4) Wesleyan will make natties. They’re better than Williams, and with the new Pool C spots, I’d be shocked if they didn’t qualify 5) I’m a Selena fan, but am I the only one that thought her new songs weren’t that good?! Lose You To Love Me was a B-rate Lana Del Rey track, and either Lana or T-Swift would have sounded much better. When I heard Selena was dropping new tracks right after the Bieber wedding, I was pumped. Wolves? Banger. Back to You? Banger. Come & Get it? BANGER! I had high expectations, and was disappointed. Give me Demi in 3: Lovato, 6-7(12) 6-4 6-2 (clinch)
NEWomens: I’m only going to comment on point 5, but that’s because I stan Selena Gomez, and I won’t stand to see her lose out to Demi Lovato. Sure, girl’s got talent, but Selena’s two new songs are fire, and I can’t go against the girl who brought us the bop, Come and Get It.
NE: 1) Yes 2) Lol 3) Duh 4) No 5) YES! & NO!!
CentralWomens: 1) I have no idea how strong Case’s team is 2) WhatsApp has definitely been a lifesaver as I frequently talk with friends and family in Europe using it 3)Love the Blog Betting— count me in for the fantasy draft 4) Wesleyan Women won’t win natties (CMS will) 5) When I see Selena I can never not see the annoying character of the Wizards of Waverly Place. Demi makes me feel sad, because she is fighting so many things. I am an Ariana girl myself.
Analyst: I have no feelings about most of these, but regarding 4) Wesleyan women will win natties.
RegAS: 1) Yes 2) I don’t have a life so no need to plan 3) I wasn’t invited to the betting chat, but if I was in it, I’d lose money 4) Disagree 5) Give me TSwizzle