‘Twas the night before natties, and all through the West
Teams eagerly waiting to see who is best
The Boxers in Oregon, new to the scene
Learning to squash squirrels, if you know what I mean
A tough band of Slugs with a Quaker, a transfer
Pairing him with LJ, was the right answer
Two seniors are leaving, named Eli and Goetz
Together they won quite a few prosets
The Pats, so resilient, it’s sure tough to beat ya
Especially that 1 dubs player with alopecia
Budd’s from Vancouver, they’ve got two from Brazil
Another from Sydney with frequent flyer miles to kill
Speaking of Poets, let’s get to Whittier
They’ve got DK whose strokes couldn’t get prettier
And Shogo and Farmer, his serve is quite fair
Almost as good as Schommer’s facial hair
Moving up to Thousand Oaks, we’ve got Cal Lu
Rebounding from the losses of Worley and Ballou
Even with Cardenas, they didn’t have a good start
They improved thanks to a little senior with a big heart
In Redlands, the Bulldogs are nursing their ills
They’ll be much stronger when their roster refills
They return that great one-two, Lipscomb and Cummins
To do the rest, their sophomores will answer the summons
In Walla Walla the Squirrels reminisce on Spring Break
And think about Indoors, which they hope to make
Next year their roster will be filled with youth
They lose Riggs, Huskey, Cava, and Truth
In Pomona the Hell Hens played with no fear
And gave the Stags their toughest match of the year
Their future is bright: Yaz, Kim, Maassen, and Bello
I’ll sure miss Wiech though, what a nice fellow
These great teams are done, may be broken-hearted
But they put their heads up, for next season has started
Two teams remain; they train through the night
The Tigers and Stags are ready to fight
TU is a team with typical Southern class
Which doesn’t stop Nico and Haugen from kicking some ass
Skinner and Pax yank opponents like toys
If you ask why, they say, “for the boys”
Then there’s CMS, undoubtedly favored
Three wins away from a championship, savored
Twas the night before natties, and with Stags on a quest
Everyone knows, the West is the best
The Stags this year may go down in history
Due to outsized talent, extensive play on their home courts and a well-deserved favorable NCAA draw
But next year let’s hope for more parity
Or else we may have to lobby that they move up to D-1 status where they belong
Because for only so long is it fun to watch a buzz saw!
Unless of course you are a Stags alum!
They have one more year, and then Dorn, Wood and Marino are gone. As Blood, Sweat and Tears says “what goes up, must come down”
I don’t think they’ll fall that much. They’ll still have Butts, Mork, Macey, Hull, Yeh, Mehall, Wildman, and whoever else they bring in.
This is outstanding.